Horror of Horrors

 

Yesterday, I bounced out of bed and headed straight to the outdoor clothes side of the wardrobe and started to pull on my trousers. Suddenly, I had a sinking feeling. You know that feeling of trepidation; the feeling of impending doom. I struggled to find out why I had that feeling. And then I realised! It was decorating day! Horror of horrors! No woods today! All day! NO! It's a nightmare! I'll wake up in a minute! Pleeeease, NO!"

I looked out of the window. At least it was raining as promised on the weather forecast and the reason I selected this day of the Bank Holiday.

"I don't feel well!" I shouted to Mrs P.

"Really? I wonder why that is?"

" Perhaps a bacon sandwich will..." Before I finished the sentence with "help" a bacon sandwich was thrust into my hands.

I peered over the balcony and noticed that all the furniture had magically rearranged itself into the centre of the room.

"I do believe you thought of everything!" I grumbled.

"If it's any consolation," said Mrs P, "I do feel sorry for you. But you've got to admit, the cave does need decorating." I nodded in disconsolate agreement.

Mrs P hovered around. "Don't worry, I won't escape," I said. "Just please go away and stop mithering me." I thrust my hand into my pocket and brought out some money for hair products.

This did the trick and I was left alone with my paint brush and roller. How can life be so cruel?

Yesterday's miserable trip to the woods did nothing to lift the spirits. I saw very little in the way of wildlife. I contented myself sitting by the edge of the field and watched the harvesters at work. A field full of stubble was the only evidence of the wheat and barley that once gently waved in the wind. I did find what I think is Fuligo Septica, going by the glorious  common name of Dog's vomit slime mould.

I thought about next week's Wilderness Gathering in Wiltshire. Ah! This was doing the trick. It would be my first trip there and I wondered what it would be like.

Before I knew it, I was half way through decorating. I had put a huge amount of paint on the roller in the hopes that it would only take one coat of paint. Unfortunately, even I realised that it needed two, so off I went around again.

What should I take? I went through a kit list in my mind. No point taking too much. After all, it's only one day more than my usual three day excursions. More to the point, how much beer should I take? My mind wandered and wandered as the arm automatically glided across the walls. I was actually beginning to enjoy myself.  Well, as much as you can be imprisoned within 4 walls and only a paint brush and a roller for company!

Then suddenly it was over. Finished. I put all the furniture back and was tidying up when Mrs P came in.

"Wow! That's great! And so quick."

"It was easy," I said. "I don't know what all the fuss was about".  A big grin appeared as a I realised I had another day off tomorrow.

Thanks for the visit.

Pablo.